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August 25th, 2005
10:36 am - And then it was exhaled.
Everything is going to be just aweful.
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March 1st, 2005
09:02 pm - She was my lonely sunrise.
Why are birthdays so lonely for me?
You should be in my spaces, you should be in my ride
Current Mood:  cold
Current Music: Interpol- Narc
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February 4th, 2005
05:45 pm - Creaking Barstools and Goodbye Kisses
Who would have thought that such a daring youth could move you to change so much within your own life.
He's so amazing to me and quickly become my everything. Down from the way he tells his friends, " Yes, shes got green eyes, but not the show off kind. And she's unconventionally beautiful."
We're disgustingly affectionate, two writers hung in the suicides of what shouldn't be. A lousy poetry sonet for the two of us as simple hands search for eachother.
Current Mood:  happy
Current Music: Emery- Ponytail Parade
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January 26th, 2005
09:30 pm - And he said, "You're my Thursday girl,"
They'll try to tell me that I'm crazy for thinking the way I do. But I happen to think that its the best damn idea, yet.
I spent the afternoon in the park swinging.
I spent the evening laying in the graveyard.
I spent the night dying in this misery of accidental kisses gone stray.
You think you're so special, you're not even close. You mean the least, but you take the most.
Sometimes I'm better off alone; sometimes has become home.
Current Mood:  Intellectual
Current Music: Jamie Wyatt- Light Switch
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January 25th, 2005
08:35 pm - Sloppy Scenes
The number one thing that makes me sad is those people, and I include myself in these types of people, who want to change the world so much by writing or creating art or something but then I sit back and realize that its all one big huge cliche and that nothing is EVER going to change. We will continue hating, and being hypocrites, and doing things that we know we shouldn't be doing. Yeah,one day I might change someones life for good, but thats just one. I want to be like the AIDS virus and infect mass population. I want people to open their eyes, turn on their hearts, and stop lusting for idiotic fake icons of Hollywood and their producers. Damnit, it makes me so mad. We're so selfish. I'm so selfish. I'm the hypocrite. And I hate this, everything. I want to have this perfection that in unataniable but gosh, I'm just so...ruined. I'm everything I hate.
I hate how sold my family is on TV. I espeically how much I hate being in a deep mood right now and have no one to relate to.BRYCE
Someone just shared a story of his hardships to me, and I was slightly judgemental of this kid before but now, I realize that he's a person just like me. And he's quickly become one of my influencial icons in my life. And I would have never guessed he went through such a heartbreak. Its amazing what people hide behind their eyes. And I thought I had sad eyes...
Current Mood:  indescribable
Current Music: The Weakerthans- This Is A Fire Door Never Leave Open
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January 19th, 2005
06:42 pm - One last time, you turned away.
As usual, I'm falling for nothing///////
Discouraged I was
In the arms of lust I was driven
The disappointment I’ve created
This friction that I've demonstrated
A heartbreak
A break that hurt so bad
Not me, but her
How self-centered could one possibly be
An apology
That isn't anything but hallow
Forgiveness I shall beg, and even wallow
In silent recognition
I shouldn't have ever been in this condition
I’m sorry I’ll say
Ten, twelve, a hundred times
But the damage has been done
These strong ties have become undone
Its all I can do from keep on falling to my knees
Her love more important than any boy could be
A promise I made to her
To never look his way again
Temptation triumphant
And I’m hurting her more than me
How selfish could one even be
And even though I know she’s forgiven me
But I’ll say it one more time
I’m sorry for the foolish things I did
But I’m human, you see
I really just wanted the right kind of company
Theres no excuse that can justify
The way I’ve let her hurt inside
But these are the things I know
And all the ways I delivered a dirty blow
Its really terrible all the things that were done
But theres no turning back now
No secret passage to escape
It’s the past created
Though the destruction I’ve initiated
But this isn’t the end
It’s bound to happen once again
Whether it be me or her
I know that when that sir
Comes along
Singing that extraordinary song
We’ll both be there with a smug little smile
And trek through all these empty miles
Forgiveness given again and again
To each of our little filthy friends
Lust and love, we’ll surpass it all
With grace and shame
Holding on to each other’s fame
We won’t let it slip
Won’t slink down into a bottomless pit
Friends forever we’ll be
Even in the worst company
Current Mood:  lethargic
Current Music: Sunday Slacks- Crushed
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January 17th, 2005
09:35 pm
i'm not going to bend
i'm not going to break
i'm not going to worry about it anymore
Current Mood:  mischievous
Current Music: Counting Crows- Anna Begins
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03:42 pm - This isn't how it's supposed to be.
I'm caught up in dreaming, my head is stuck in yesterday's clouds. I keep thinking about all those times when you touched my hand and I sighed feeling this perfection.
I'm too caught up in your kiss to remember anything else. Too caught up in how much you felt so good to me to remember the hurt and distruction you caused in my life, in my heart, in my soul.
For this I am deserving of this heap of misery I'm building. But yet, it doesn't feel right to be with anyone else. My hand doesn't fit in anyone elses.
Is this love or is it lust?
Is this destruction or happiness?
Do I mean these stupid poetic lines spouting from lonely lips?
Answers to all these questions unknown, but give me just one more chance to kiss you. One more time to devour the sweetness that remains so bitter in my blood. Take me away from these distractions and build up a fortification of massacres.
No one kissed perfection like you did. Like I did. Like we did when I was lost and alone in your arms on your bedroom floor.
Current Mood:  restless
Current Music: Emery- Wall
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December 24th, 2004
08:21 pm - I wish I was sleeping in a hospital bed.
He was caught up in contagious curves. He was idiotic to a mind that was hidden behind eyes. She was full of error. He buried the stars deep in her stomach. She let the moon slip away behind his shoulders. He touched. She breathed. She was oblivious. He knew all along. He lusted for her, but it was she who he was in love with. She was confused. She was trembling. He was loosing all control. He was lost in her world, while she wondered where he was. She was twisted in sheets, the third party waking. This was a table set for two. There were three lip stains on the glass. He was in the sweetness. She was in the dark. She was heating up. He was the wrong doing. She was innocent. She was innocent.
Love is fake and So are you
Cheating gets it faster.
Thinking of people cheating isn't exactly the best thing on Christmas Eve but whatever, yo. It's all I know of in a relationship. So call me bitter.
Today I spent a good amount of time realizing how much I really can't bring myself to care about the human race. We're so sold on the statistics of poverty and crime rate. We care none of the adopted love in our communities. I never want to be a news journalist. I'd commit suicide. I might as well start making a noose now.
Current Mood:  content
Current Music: Ben Kweller- Hospital Bed
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December 16th, 2004
09:54 pm
This is the long way back.
Why can't we just look the other way?
I absolutely hate finals. I saw this in a story recently and I thought I'd give it a try. I have no idea how it'll turn out but its way better than studying for an algebra II final, thats fo sho!
He sighed. She paused. He shrugged. She frowned. He walked. She turned her back. He cried, wept, broke down. She died. He was silent. She lived. He thrived. She pulsed. He lingered. She reminisced. She smiled, grew, moved on. He froze. She returned. She remembered. He frowned. She walked. He turned his back. She apologized. He denied. She yelled. He whimpered. She yelled. He apologized. She stopped. He peered. She spoke. He talked. She loved. He hated. She hated. He loved. She begged, pleaded, groveled. He turned his back. He died. She died. He drowned. She cut. I ended.
Current Mood:  okay
Current Music: Interpol- Evil
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bleedxink's journal